The Brief
Wisdom Panel: The Boundaries Edition
Although the first WISDOM PANEL: The Boundaries Edition was organized at the last minute, it’s packed with actionable advice, strategies, and real-life experience around the topic of boundaries, how they impact our lives, and the importance of setting and maintaining them.
When we had an interview spot to fill at the last minute, I reached out with a last-minute opening, and THREE amazing women said YES!
I thought, why not bring them all together for a conversation about BOUNDARIES.
A little about each of our panelists
Susannah Steers owns Moving Spirit Pilates in North Vancouver, BC, and has 30+ years of experience in movement and fitness as a former dancer and pilates and integrated movement specialist.
Susannah helps people connect their bodies and their minds. There’s definitely boundary work woven throughout her methodology.
Amy Thurman was a social worker and educator at the university level, she dedicated her life to helping others.
Until 2014, when her world came to a screeching halt. After passing out and landing on her face on the hardwood floor, resulting in a sheared brainstem, a traumatic brain injury, and a broken neck that went undetected for 6 months.
This experience landed her in bed for 23 hours a day for a year, she missed so many milestones in her life and the lives of her 3 children. She also dug in deep and set boundaries about how she would LIVE, instead of how she would DIE.
Lisa Danforth is a Work-Life Wellbeing Strategist and Leadership Coach. Her mission is to help people design a saner approach to success so they can build a business or career that will create the life they want to live, not consume it. Lisa is a 30-year, five-time entrepreneur starting her sixth business. Lisa lives and teaches that boundaries are the bridge to everything. She’s right.
Highlights
- Boundaries are a form of self-care and can be seen as the bridge to achieving our goals.
- The act of setting boundaries can be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for personal growth and well-being.
- Boundaries aren’t just about saying ‘no’ to others, but also about saying ‘yes’ to ourselves and our needs.
- Boundaries are about us, not about other people. They reflect our values and priorities.
- Resentment can often stem from a lack of boundaries. When we say ‘yes’ to things we don’t want to do, resentment builds up.
Boundaries are the bridge
Boundaries are essential for achieving personal goals and maintaining healthy relationships. The panelists discussed the importance of establishing boundaries, not only for personal well-being, but also to achieve goals.
Lisa emphasized this as she suggested that setting boundaries allows individuals to prioritize their goals and needs, which she believed to be a key determinant of success. Lisa shared that “boundaries are the bridge to everything that we want.” She went on to say “if we’re struggling, it’s because we’re not implementing boundaries, we’re not able to prioritize our goals and our needs.”
Amy agreed, adding that setting boundaries, not just with others but also within oneself, can be a potent form of self-care. She shared her experience of realizing the importance of setting boundaries within herself before even attempting to set them with others.
Are you fitting in or belonging?
Lisa kicked off a new topic by quoting Brene Brown “Fitting in is the greatest barrier to belonging,” and how the need to fit in can often undermine the establishing and holding boundaries, both personally and professionally. “I saw all of the struggles that I had were because I felt the need to fit in because I wouldn’t belong as I am.”
Susannah added, that the ability to say “no” became easier for her as she grew older and gained more experience.
When things get personal
Amy shared a personal crisis that led her to redefine her boundaries. After a life-altering accident, she went through a period of resentment and depression. The turning point came when she decided to fight for her life and use her story to help others.
“I decided to take the energy I was using to fight to die and use it to fight to live with the intention of using my story to help other people. I decided I’m worth it. I am worth it, so I’m going to do this.”
Susannah shared that her business stopped instantly during the COVID-19 pandemic, when her clients needed her most. This forced her to reevaluate her business and her boundaries. “I just had to let it fall apart and figure out okay that’s not working for me. I don’t know what is, and I’m still figuring that out.”
Click on each of the panelists’ names to learn more about them.
