Lora Cheadle – Age 54
Life & Leadership Coach, Speaker & Author
About me
An attorney, TEDx speaker, life and leadership coach, Lora Cheadle shows professionals how to move beyond soothing the symptoms of burnout and resolve the root cause, which is oftentimes betrayal.
Whether that betrayal is from a person, system, or something more personal, Lora shows individuals, teams, and groups of leaders how to break free from burnout and heal betrayal so they (and their employees) can stay engaged and innovative at work for the long-haul. She is the creator of Life Choreography® burnout-recovery framework and leads Step into Your Moxie® corporate workshops and training that help participants speak up and advocate for themselves, their companies, and the ideas that matter most.
Lora also works with women who have been betrayed by their intimate partner and want to do more than just heal from infidelity but use their experience as a catalyst for transformation instead. She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy and Spiritual Self and The Legal Rights and Responsibilities of Teenage Parents. She has spoken and trained internationally, and is the host of the top-rated podcast, FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal.
What do you do and why do you do it?
I work with two different populations around the same problem – addressing betrayal through effective communication.
Individually I work with women who have been betrayed by their intimate partner and want to use their experience as a catalyst for radical transformation and growth. I do this because of my own journey of being betrayed by my husband of 23 years, and having to choose whether to completely rebuild my identity, self-worth, and reinvent my life or continue on a life path of settling for less, tolerating what I didn’t want to tolerate, and hiding my truth.
At the organizational level, I work with companies, teams, and departments addressing burnout, betrayal, and communication. Just as we can experience betrayal in our personal relationships, we can also experience betrayal at the corporate or organizational level, leading us to feel burned out, disillusioned, and incapable of reaching our fullest potential.
As a former attorney, I found that many people struggle to have difficult conversations and advocate effectively for themselves or for the ideas that matter most to them, which is ironic, a betrayal of self. I do this work based on my own experience of being a “nice girl” who didn’t want to rock the boat or make people mad and struggled to advocate on her own behalf, based on her own authority.
What changed for you after age 50?
Besides not giving a shit about what other people think anymore? 🙂
What changed was the realization that I’m not traditionally “young” anymore and although I have plenty of time, I don’t have an unlimited number of years on this planet. I’ve done a lot, but it’s time to get serious and do exactly what was born to do, my own way.
What would you tell the 20 or 30-year-old YOU?
To trust myself more. To quit worrying about offending others, tolerating things I was uncomfortable with, and to to speak – and live – my truth.
What do you think you’ll tell yourself in retrospect at the end of your life?
Damn! You did an awesome job stepping fully into who you are and owning your courage!
What impact do you think increased visibility can have on your business?
Visibility will help me reach women who may be struggling, but might not even know that they are struggling!
What I mean by that, is so many of us have been taught to shut ourselves down, to sacrifice for others, and to play small. We think that “good enough” is enough, when it’s not! Increased visibility will show people that there’s WAY more to life and that this is the way they can get it. Visibility will show women that they aren’t alone, that the struggle is not personal to them, and that there is help available that will shift things for them.
Who or what inspires you and why?
Michelle Obama inspires me because she personifies grace in an impossible situation. In her position as first lady, there was no way she was going to win! As a mother, wife, and first lady the standards are impossible. Add in race and the growing political unrest, and she was ripe to be a target of intolerance and hate. She was pure grace. She never bought into anyone else’s narrative about who she was, and she was steadfast and true to herself throughout!
Something else I’d like to share
I always say that betrayal uncovers the truth. About all the ways you have settled for less, struggled to tolerate, or left unhealed or unacknowledged within you.
“Burnout is chronic stress that has not been managed… but betrayal is defined as the breaking of an expectation that you have relied on that ruptures your view of yourself and the world.“
Lora Cheadle
The Brief
Lora Cheadle is a former attorney, TEDx speaker, author, podcast host, life and leadership coach. She shows professionals how to differentiate burnout from betrayal and get to the root of what’s keeping them stuck.
Then… how to rekindle trust in yourself, your career, and your personal life.
There’s a surprising, common thread among these experiences, they often share a root cause — betrayal.
Lora shared her personal journey, her insights on burnout and betrayal, and talked about the Five Steps of FLAUNT! and the magic of burlesque, and how to untangle yourself from the past, release judgment, and uncover the power that’s been inside you all along.
Is it burnout or betrayal?
Lora explained the difference between burnout and betrayal. When typical self-care remedies for burnout, such as massages or days off, are ineffective, then the issue may be rooted in betrayal. “Burnout is chronic stress that has not been managed, so if you’re learning new ways of managing your stress and you’re feeling better, then it’s burnout,” she said. In contrast, if these methods aren’t working, it may be because “your view of yourself and the world has been ruptured, and you need to resolve that betrayal.”
Betrayal happens in ALL kind of relationships
Betrayal goes beyond romantic/life partner relationships and can infiltrate all aspects of life and business. In fact, it doesn’t even need to involve another person. We betray ourselves too.
Lora expanded on the common notion of betrayal, stating that it doesn’t always have to involve a personal relationship. Betrayal can stem from any situation where an expectation has been broken, rupturing one’s view of themselves and the world. She explained, “Betrayal is a feeling, and it really is rooted in identity. A betrayal is something that shifts that worldview that then consequently shifts our identity, and we have to rebuild the pieces of who we are.”
Self-acceptance heals betrayal and burnout
The conversation swung to the topic of self-acceptance in overcoming both burnout and betrayal. Lora has experienced personally and with clients that most of the pain people feel comes from their inability to accept their current situation. When people start accepting unconditionally what is happening, they find peace, joy, and most importantly, their own power.
FLAUNT
Lora shared the framework of F.L.A.U.N.T, her personal empowerment philosophy. The “F” stands for finding your fetish, or doing what you love; the “L” stands for laughing out loud; the “A” stands for accepting unconditionally. The “N is for navigating the negative, and finally, the “T” stands for trusting in your truth. She stressed the importance of shedding perfectionism and embracing authenticity, saying “I can have all of these things that are imperfect, and I can be actually be more me because of it.”
Turning 50 can be a liberating experience
When Lora turned 50 she was waiting for some kind of significant shift to occur. The reality was much more subtle. “I crossed that threshold of being 50… it set me free to be me.” There was a gradual realization, acceptance, and the shedding of societal pressures and expectations. She noted, “Age is just a number. I’m getting wrinkles, and I look different in the mirror, but I’m more me inside than I’ve ever been.”
Visit Lora’s website to learn more and connect with her.
