About me
After 20+ years in the healing professions – from Doctor of Acupuncture & Chinese Medicine Life Coach to Doula – I began reconsidering the next phase of my life.
Then, my husband became very sick, landed in the hospital for 4 months. then recovered at home for another 4 months. All the while I advocated for him and was by his side the entire time.
After he recovered, my brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. When my husband was well again, we began weekly sojourns 4.5 hrs away to help my brother and his family cope, eventually being by his side when he died. Death doula-ing was not something I’d imagined myself doing, but it was a very rewarding albeit deeply sad experience.
In between all of this, I hosted my daughter’s wedding, which was lovely. However, I crashed after my brother died. I could no longer take care of people after the year I’d been through. While my practice closed and reopened several times during Covid, I began taking botanical art classes online at New York Botanical Garden. This scratched a creative itch I’d buried pretty deeply. The art fulfilled me in a way I can’t describe.
Today, I’m on the brink of achieving my certificate and shifting my career exclusively to art. I think making a decision to change your focus in later life is an interesting one. It caused me to pause and re-examine why exactly I went into healthcare, deepening my knowledge, growing my expertise, and getting degree after degree, certificate after certificate. I realized that while I was pretty good at it, and had a good intuitive sense of how to help, I also am an empath. The many years of taking care of others just took its toll on me. I also realized that some of my motivations for being a doctor were to prove something. (But, this is a longer conversation.)
I felt deep relief in not having the responsibility for others’ health (while I still miss many aspects of the caring I provided). I find art so satisfying, calming, and enjoyable — without much stress.
Reinventing myself in my late 50’s and early 60’s is quite surprising and rewarding. The question of women commonly being the caretaker is one I think about a lot. I don’t regret my many years of caring for people, at all. And, I find art healing in many ways — for myself and also for others as I’ve learned that sparking joy through art is healing. So is doing something you’ve always wanted to do, but buried deep inside you.
Women too often don’t celebrate the seemingly smaller impacts they make on others. Gandhi said, “In small ways you can shake the world” (hopefully the book title I’ll use someday) and I have this framed on my shelf. I know that I’ve saved several lives (this is not small, mind you) and I’ve changed many lives. I’ve raised amazing kids and been a good friend and neighbor. In the past, I never appreciated the “small ways” because it wasn’t on a stage or on the cover of a magazine (thank you, guru coaches.) I never gave myself enough credit as it came naturally to me. Shouldn’t it be hard to do something worthwhile? Don’t you have to be famous to make a big impact? Looking back, this seems naive, but we all come with our own childhood traumas and triggers – and all of this fed into mine.
Getting older, as it turns out, is really pretty amazing when you drop the crap and start living for yourself and not worrying about what others think anymore. What a gift!
What do you do and why do you do it?
As mentioned above, I’m now a botanical artist. I have found it enormously rewarding, and a real gift of Covid!
I am very grateful that I have the gift and ability to not work for money right now, so I can throw myself into something I love that feels just for me. However, I hope to incorporate many of my interests into my art. Here’s my artist’s statement. Artist, gardener, and healer.
Living in the Hudson Valley, I have the unique privilege to meld somewhat unconventional aspects of myself as a Doctor of Acupuncture & Chinese Medicine and Botanical Artist. Botanical Art captures the beauty of the natural world and is also healing, whether visual or emotional (being transported by a painting) or physical (via the plant’s medicinal properties). My art’s unique focus is combining the curative capacity of plants and rendering their beauty, awakening deep and sometimes subtle healing. I lean toward the pencil – be it colored or graphite, but I love the ethereal quality watercolor, as well.
My garden is my muse, life experience provides focus, and art brings it all together. I might use my elderberry flowers to make a cordial, then the berries to make a healing syrup. Beautiful peonies have medicinal tubers. You see something as a weed? I might see it as a healthy pesto! You’ll find me in the spring sustainably harvesting ramps or violets, and digging dandelions for medicine. Then — I draw them. Or paint them. I can’t think of anything more rewarding to do in this “second half” of my life than blend my passions as a Botanical Artist.
What changed for you after age 50?
My eyes opened in an entirely new way – see my long bio above.
What would you tell the 20 or 30-year-old YOU?
You’re more than enough. Stop rushing, stop trying to prove yourself. Be in your own skin all the time, and love yourself.
What do you think you’ll tell yourself in retrospect at the end of your life?
I’m hopeful I’ll say, “You done good, kid. You deeply loved and helped others, you respected yourself, and you followed your deepest desires to live the life you intended to live.
What impact do you think increased visibility can have on your business?
As I’m embarking on this new career in art, I’m hoping I will gather a following for it instead of just medicine. I will be making products with my drawings, so I would also like to sell those.
I hope, my life experiences will help others be more true to themselves.
Who or what inspires you and why?
I have to think about this one because there are a lot of women – who aren’t well-known. I know what inspires me deeply in nature…from there comes art and healing.
